2017 has been kind of a bust for me, in terms of reading. I've been so busy that I didn't quite even make my modest (for me) goal of 50 books read for the year! I know resolutions are kind of out of style, but I think I'm going to make one for 2018 anyway - stop overextending myself.
In 2017 attempted to do a lot of things - be a mother to my newborn baby girl and teenaged son, read at least 50 books and review them all on this blog, dye yarn and grow my Etsy shop, and just generally keep my house and family running along smoothly. I think I succeeded at the parenting and household stuff, but if I'm being totally honest, I kind of half-assed everything else. I didn't even manage to succeed in my goal of knitting a pair of socks every month of the year.
In 2018 I resolve to be more present and stop trying to be a superwoman. I resolve to let myself have downtime without feeling guilt over what I could be doing instead and I resolve to stop biting off so much more than I can chew.
So. Goals for my Etsy shop - stock at least once per month, not once per week. If I can handle more, great. If not... that's ok, too. My goal for now is to just maintain my current market presence.
Goals for this blog - a minimum of one review per month. Again, if I can handle more, awesome. If not, oh well. Note to readers: you may notice some changes in my writing style over the next few months. I'm trying to let myself ignore conventional wisdom about book reviews and adopt a more natural, conversational tone. Old habits die hard though - I'm more trained as a technical writer than an interesting one, so bear with me.
Goals for reading - a book a week. Yeah, that's more than I did in 2017, but dammit - keeping my mind engaged needs to remain a priority.
Goals for parenting - keep being available and present for my kids. Keep helping them develop into confident, self-sufficient human beings with empathy and consideration for others. And get my teenager to do his own damned laundry.
Goals for the house - keep it clean enough on a daily basis that I don't turn into a stress monster when someone is going to visit. Accept that dust bunnies exist and that they don't mean I'm a bad person. And maybe get the family room painted.
Goal for myself - go back to school and finally start finishing that bachelor's degree I started working towards in 1999. I wanted to have my degree by the time I turned 30 and spent that birthday mourning that goal. The new goal is to have that degree the year I turn 40. I resolve to stay determined to meet it.
Finally, this is supposed to be a blog about books, so I'm going to close this out by telling you that I started reading Kathy Reichs' newest book, Two Nights, last night and it's AWESOME. Seriously. I like the Temperence Brennan books, but this one is so much better (at least, the first part is - it could still go south). I hope Reichs hasn't given up on the Bones series, but I also really like this new character she's got going on - Sunny Night. The story is good, the writing is above average for Reichs and I'm having a hard time putting the book down to get anything else done. Definitely check this one out if you are a crime/suspense/thriller fan!
Sunday, December 31, 2017
Friday, December 15, 2017
Into The Water
I was so excited for Into the Water you guys. I tore through Girl on the Train back in 2015 and spent the last few months impatiently waiting to get my hands on this book from my local library.
I finally got the notice that my copy was available 2 weeks ago and immediately started on it. And immediately stalled out. There are so many characters and Hawkins felt the need to write chapters from each one's point of view! Add to the constantly shifting narrative the fact that this is one of those stories where you are dropped into the middle, after the biggest events have occurred and it just made for such a confusing read.
There's a story here, a good one, but it's lost in so many layers of alternating POV's that it just gets to be too much. I love the whole unreliable-narrator-with-a-twist-ending thing that's so trendy right now, but this one just tries way too hard and, as a result, it all falls flat. The book drags and drags at the beginning and then at the end the conclusion feels so, so rushed.
I didn't consciously realize I was avoiding the book until 3 days ago when I got the "your items are about to expire" auto-email from my library. With a wait-list as long as they have for Into the Water, I didn't want to be that person and keep the book past its due date so I powered through the last 2/3 and finished up late last night.
I know it must be daunting to have such a great success as Paula Hawkins did with her first book and then to have to try to follow that up. So I'm going to give her some credit. As I said before, there's a damned good story here. And maybe if I'd had the time to sit down and just read it in one or 2 large chunks rather than a chapter here and a chapter there every day instead, I'd have enjoyed it more. It's a busy time of year right now and I've got a lot on my plate, so I'm totally willing to take some of the blame for lack of enthusiasm over this novel. That said, I really hope Hawkins' third book is better.
Anyway, enough of my bitching - here's a summary so you can see if you might be interested in reading this one too:
Jules and Nel had been estranged for years. When Nel drowns, Jules travels back to their childhood vacation home in Beckford where Nel has been living, to take care of her now-orphaned niece Lena. Once back in town, she realizes that something deeper is going on. Did Nel kill herself, as everyone seems to believe, or was she pushed? Does her death have anything to do with the suicide-by-drowning of Lena's best friend only a month earlier? Or does it have to do with the book she was writing about the very spot where she, and so many other women in the town's history, died?
I finally got the notice that my copy was available 2 weeks ago and immediately started on it. And immediately stalled out. There are so many characters and Hawkins felt the need to write chapters from each one's point of view! Add to the constantly shifting narrative the fact that this is one of those stories where you are dropped into the middle, after the biggest events have occurred and it just made for such a confusing read.
There's a story here, a good one, but it's lost in so many layers of alternating POV's that it just gets to be too much. I love the whole unreliable-narrator-with-a-twist-ending thing that's so trendy right now, but this one just tries way too hard and, as a result, it all falls flat. The book drags and drags at the beginning and then at the end the conclusion feels so, so rushed.
I didn't consciously realize I was avoiding the book until 3 days ago when I got the "your items are about to expire" auto-email from my library. With a wait-list as long as they have for Into the Water, I didn't want to be that person and keep the book past its due date so I powered through the last 2/3 and finished up late last night.
I know it must be daunting to have such a great success as Paula Hawkins did with her first book and then to have to try to follow that up. So I'm going to give her some credit. As I said before, there's a damned good story here. And maybe if I'd had the time to sit down and just read it in one or 2 large chunks rather than a chapter here and a chapter there every day instead, I'd have enjoyed it more. It's a busy time of year right now and I've got a lot on my plate, so I'm totally willing to take some of the blame for lack of enthusiasm over this novel. That said, I really hope Hawkins' third book is better.
Anyway, enough of my bitching - here's a summary so you can see if you might be interested in reading this one too:
Jules and Nel had been estranged for years. When Nel drowns, Jules travels back to their childhood vacation home in Beckford where Nel has been living, to take care of her now-orphaned niece Lena. Once back in town, she realizes that something deeper is going on. Did Nel kill herself, as everyone seems to believe, or was she pushed? Does her death have anything to do with the suicide-by-drowning of Lena's best friend only a month earlier? Or does it have to do with the book she was writing about the very spot where she, and so many other women in the town's history, died?
Monday, November 27, 2017
Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls
I stumbled upon Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls: 100 Stories of Extraordinary Women by Elena Favili at my local library and fell in love with it. Each "story" is a mini-biography of a different woman written in the style of a classic fairy tale - openers range from "once upon a time" to "a long time ago." Each story is written simply enough for a child to understand, yet simultaneously not dumbed down so as to be tedious for an adult reader and is accompanied by a picture of the subject, as well as an inspirational quote. This book is at the absolute top of my Christmas list for my daughter.
Wednesday, October 11, 2017
No Middle Name
I first discovered Lee Child sometime around 2010. At the time I was still working in Northern Virginia and living way out in northern central Virginia. My commute was around 100 miles round trip and, for those of you who have experienced that area's traffic, you know that means I had a loooooong commute. Like close to 4 hours a day in the car, 5 days a week. To keep from going insane, I listened to a LOT of audiobooks.
My local library had tons of books on CD and I went through them at a rate of 2-3 per week. I quickly went through their collection of authors I was already a fan of and books I had on my to-read list. I noticed The Killing Floor was a recommended listen one week when I was in picking up my latest stack and decided to give it a try. I loved it. I was totally sucked in to the world of Jack none Reacher. The books in the series quickly became favorites to listen to on my commute.
My life has changed a lot since those days. I moved to Oklahoma and stopped commuting so far - these days I'm a stay-at-home mom and Etsy-shopkeep and it takes me about a year to put the same number of miles on my car now that I used to accumulate in under a month and I rarely listen to audiobooks anymore. I still love Jack Reacher though and I still eagerly anticipate each year's newest installment in his world courtesy of Lee Child.
No Middle Name: The Complete Collected Jack Reacher Short Stories is a short story collection you can read at any point in the series - none of the stories are reliant on any of the books. I've read other short story collections tied in to book series before and I have to say, this one is, by far, the best I've read. Other authors have made the mistake of putting vital information into the stories that make subsequent novels difficult to follow or create collections that must be read in a specific order and in between specific books to be fully comprehensible. Not so with No Middle Name. Each story stands alone as either a mini Reacher adventure (Second Son, Too Much Time) or simply as character background filler (No Room at the Motel, Everyone Talks). Even the stories that are barely about Reacher (James Penney's New Identity) serve a purpose. I might even recommend this collection to anyone who hasn't yet picked up a Reacher novel as a quick intro to the character and to Child's writing style.
I really loved this collection. It almost makes the wait to the newest Reacher novel bearable. Almost.
Thursday, October 5, 2017
Blame
Blame is the latest offering from one of my favorites, Jeff Abbott, and it does not disappoint. The last few years have been all about the Sam Capra series and, while I love Sam's ongoing adventures and escapades, I was so ready for a new standalone Abbott novel.
Nobody does suspense quite like Jeff Abbott. He has a way of sucking you in to the story and just refusing to let go. The only bad thing about this book was how long it took me to read it. If I'd had my way, I'd have probably read through it cover to cover in one sitting. Sadly, I have responsibilities so I found myself having to take my time with it.
Blame is the story of Jane Norton and her memory. Imagine you woke up one day and didn't know who you were. There are people all around telling you they're your family, they're your friends, but you don't remember anything. That's what happened to Jane. After a devastating car crash that killed David, the boy next door and put Jane into a coma, she wakes up with severe amnesia. Slowly she recovers the memories from the first 14 years of her life, but the last 3 are a blank. All she knows about the accident that nearly killed her is that everyone thinks it was her fault - that she tried to kill herself and David. Two years later, she gets a disturbing message - "I know what you claim you don't remember, Jane. I know what happened that night. And I'm going to tell. All will pay."
Jane resolves to find out what really happened that night. Did she try to commit suicide? Is she guilty of murdering her oldest friend? Or is something much more twisted going on?
I can't gush enough over how much I loved this one. If you're a fan of suspense, don't miss this book. It's fantastic.
Nobody does suspense quite like Jeff Abbott. He has a way of sucking you in to the story and just refusing to let go. The only bad thing about this book was how long it took me to read it. If I'd had my way, I'd have probably read through it cover to cover in one sitting. Sadly, I have responsibilities so I found myself having to take my time with it.
Blame is the story of Jane Norton and her memory. Imagine you woke up one day and didn't know who you were. There are people all around telling you they're your family, they're your friends, but you don't remember anything. That's what happened to Jane. After a devastating car crash that killed David, the boy next door and put Jane into a coma, she wakes up with severe amnesia. Slowly she recovers the memories from the first 14 years of her life, but the last 3 are a blank. All she knows about the accident that nearly killed her is that everyone thinks it was her fault - that she tried to kill herself and David. Two years later, she gets a disturbing message - "I know what you claim you don't remember, Jane. I know what happened that night. And I'm going to tell. All will pay."
Jane resolves to find out what really happened that night. Did she try to commit suicide? Is she guilty of murdering her oldest friend? Or is something much more twisted going on?
I can't gush enough over how much I loved this one. If you're a fan of suspense, don't miss this book. It's fantastic.
Tuesday, September 26, 2017
The Cuban Affair
I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
The Cuban Affair is the latest offering from Nelson DeMille. If you're a fan of DeMille's John Corey books, you'll almost certainly like this novel - the hero, Mac, is basically John Corey with a different background. Honestly, the two characters are so similar in speech and personality that I found myself distracted throughout the entire book wondering why DeMille even created Mac when he could have just as easily had John retire to Key West and buy a boat.
At any rate, it's a solid story. Mac is a charter boat captain with a mortgaged boat he can't afford. Along comes Sarah, a Cuban-American beauty who offers him a few million dollars to help her out with a top secret fortune recovery mission in Cuba.
There's a lot of information about Cuba in this book but it never comes off as travelogue-y, which it might have in less experienced, less skilled hands. It's a slow build to the action, but once it gets going, you won't be able to put it down. I've got a hunch this is just the first installment in a new franchise from DeMille and, if I'm right, I'm definitely looking forward to the next in the series.
The Cuban Affair is the latest offering from Nelson DeMille. If you're a fan of DeMille's John Corey books, you'll almost certainly like this novel - the hero, Mac, is basically John Corey with a different background. Honestly, the two characters are so similar in speech and personality that I found myself distracted throughout the entire book wondering why DeMille even created Mac when he could have just as easily had John retire to Key West and buy a boat.
At any rate, it's a solid story. Mac is a charter boat captain with a mortgaged boat he can't afford. Along comes Sarah, a Cuban-American beauty who offers him a few million dollars to help her out with a top secret fortune recovery mission in Cuba.
There's a lot of information about Cuba in this book but it never comes off as travelogue-y, which it might have in less experienced, less skilled hands. It's a slow build to the action, but once it gets going, you won't be able to put it down. I've got a hunch this is just the first installment in a new franchise from DeMille and, if I'm right, I'm definitely looking forward to the next in the series.
We Were 8 Years In Power
I received an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Ta-Nehisi Coates first hit my radar a few years ago when his book, Between the World and Me was blowing up the bestseller lists. When I saw he had this new book coming out I immediately requested a copy from the publisher and crossed my fingers. Happily, my request was approved and I dove right in the same weekend the city of Charlotteville in my home state of Virginia was overrun by white supremacists.
We Were 8 Years in Power: An American Tragedy, takes its name from a speech given in 1895 by South Carolina congressman Thomas Miller. He stated,
Coates takes this quote and ties his collection of essays together around it. The format is simple - a re-printing of 8 of his pieces from The Atlantic, one for each year of the Obama presidency, along with a reflective introduction to each. Coates is hard on himself when it comes to his earlier work and is unflinchingly honest about why he believes he's been a success. At times he gives himself too little credit and forgets (or is too humble to admit) that at least part of his success is due to his great talent for writing. There is a progression in skill to be seen here, but the raw talent for the written word shines through from even the earliest piece.
I could actually write about this book for days. I loved it. I think everyone should read it with an open mind. I think it's going to be polarizing though because a lot of white people are going to hate it. Coates is unafraid of peeling back the mask and showing the ugly supremacist foundation our country has been built on and refuses to acknowledge. He tackles racism head on and doesn't sugar-coat his feelings in deference to white fragility. Some will find that hard to swallow. Sadly, those are the ones who need to absorb his message the most.
I read that Coates is now working on an historical fiction novel. I can't wait to add it to my to-read stack as soon as the title and pre-order date are released.
We Were 8 Years In Power will be available at all booksellers on October 3, 2017.
Ta-Nehisi Coates first hit my radar a few years ago when his book, Between the World and Me was blowing up the bestseller lists. When I saw he had this new book coming out I immediately requested a copy from the publisher and crossed my fingers. Happily, my request was approved and I dove right in the same weekend the city of Charlotteville in my home state of Virginia was overrun by white supremacists.
We Were 8 Years in Power: An American Tragedy, takes its name from a speech given in 1895 by South Carolina congressman Thomas Miller. He stated,
"We were eight years in power. We had built schoolhouses, established charitable institutions, built and maintained the penitentiary system, provided for the education of the deaf and dumb, rebuilt the ferries. In short, we had reconstructed the State and place it upon the road to prosperity."
Coates takes this quote and ties his collection of essays together around it. The format is simple - a re-printing of 8 of his pieces from The Atlantic, one for each year of the Obama presidency, along with a reflective introduction to each. Coates is hard on himself when it comes to his earlier work and is unflinchingly honest about why he believes he's been a success. At times he gives himself too little credit and forgets (or is too humble to admit) that at least part of his success is due to his great talent for writing. There is a progression in skill to be seen here, but the raw talent for the written word shines through from even the earliest piece.
I could actually write about this book for days. I loved it. I think everyone should read it with an open mind. I think it's going to be polarizing though because a lot of white people are going to hate it. Coates is unafraid of peeling back the mask and showing the ugly supremacist foundation our country has been built on and refuses to acknowledge. He tackles racism head on and doesn't sugar-coat his feelings in deference to white fragility. Some will find that hard to swallow. Sadly, those are the ones who need to absorb his message the most.
I read that Coates is now working on an historical fiction novel. I can't wait to add it to my to-read stack as soon as the title and pre-order date are released.
We Were 8 Years In Power will be available at all booksellers on October 3, 2017.
Sunday, September 17, 2017
Public Relations
Public Relations is one of those books that needs to be a movie. It's a fast-paced, ridiculously over the top, full of cliches, romantic comedy that somehow just works. There are parts that I hated (for the love of god, don't base your hero on such an easily identifiable real-life guy!!!) but mostly I loved it.
I did have a few issues (of course). I would have been so much more impressed if Rose's issues had been dealt with more. Why is she so anxious? Why does she have so little self-confidence when she's clearly very gifted at what she does? As is too common in these sorts of books (spoiler alert!) the focus is mainly on the heroine getting her man by the end and less on the heroine becoming a complete, healthy, independent, successful human being. This book, like so many others out there, sends that tired old message that says you can't be complete unless you've landed yourself a man.
Also: Harry Styles? Really? The obviousness of the real-life counterpart took me out of the story a lot. A lot a lot. That aspect of the book made it less like a "real" novel and more like fanfic. And don't get me wrong - I like fanfic. Well-written fanfic has its place. Just not in a book you pay money for. At times I felt like I was intruding on the authors' private fantasies and it felt kind of squicky.
The writing is strong enough to overcome the books flaws in the end and I highly recommend this one. And I seriously do hope it gets picked up and becomes a movie. It would be an excellent addition to the genre of rom-coms that everyone loves to bitch about but also secretly watches every time they're on tv (I'm looking at you 27 Dresses).
Monday, August 14, 2017
The Great American Read
I recently heard about The Great American Read, a new, 8-episode series PBS has planned for next summer. The first episode is set to cover America's 100 favorite book and I'm looking forward to watching the show, if only to see what books are mentioned. Plus I'm always looking for new book recommendations.
I think we can all guess that the favorite book in episode 1 will be To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Let's not even try to pretend it won't be. And I could write a whole damned separate blog about the absurdity of this country choosing that book as a favorite set against the backdrop of the events that took place in Charlottesville, VA this past weekend and the subsequent "both sides are to blame" aftermath that I'm starting to hear, but I'll try to restrain myself.
Instead, the question I ask is this: why are we all so pretentious about our favorite book? You see it over and over again. When asked what book is their favorite, people will automatically say something like To Kill a Mockingbird or Pride and Prejudice or The Great Gatsby. And don't get me wrong, they're all great books. Well, ok, full disclosure? I have issues with To Kill a Mockingbird that only became stronger when Go Set A Watchman came out. And if I'm being truly, 100% honest? Outside of a few truly fantastic lines, I didn't care for The Great Gatsby either. It just... it left me cold for reasons I've never been able to quite put my finger on.
And if we do all have to claim classics or literary fiction for favorite books, why not Cold Sassy Tree by Olive Ann Burns, or The Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood? Things Fall Apart, by Chinua Achebe? Say You're One of Them by Uwem Akpan (warning - you will cry. A lot.)? There are so many fantastic books out there and it makes me so mad to see the same 4 or 5 mentioned all the time while the rest drift into obscurity or are dismissed as commercial trash.
That's not to say I don't love the classics or that I'm like a dedicated YA and chick lit reader. Great Expectations really is one of my favorites - really anything by Dickens is good. And I do love Jane Austen. I can get down with a heavy, serious, weighty book. The classics are classics for a reason, for the most part.
I just have a hard time believing that, in a country where so many people are addicted to celebrity culture and reality tv, where libraries are constantly struggling to get funding, and where something like a third of the population freely and unashamedly admits they haven't read a single book since finishing high school, the proclaimed favorite books are classics. Sure.
So I propose that we all start telling the truth. I'll start.
While I don't really have a favorite book, per se, I have read Jemima J by Jane Green more than 10 times. I love that book. It's simple and unrealistic and silly and I love the damned thing.
I've recommended Ernest Cline's Ready Player One more times than I can count and I've read it three times already myself. I think anyone who has even a slight memory of the 80s or who just likes that era of pop culture will adore it and that it's not to be missed.
I love anything Stephen King puts out (except for Gerald's Game and Rose Madder - those two were awful, sorry SK - I hated them and I'm not even going to link them here) even though he's technically a genre writer. I proudly proclaim here and now that he is the modern Charles Dickens.
My Legendary Girlfriend, by Mike Gayle is another chick lit (but with the twist that it's writtten by a guy!) fluff book that I'm not ashamed to call it a favorite. I read it in my first apartment while my life was still very much an unformed messy thing and I think that for that reason, it stuck with me.
I read Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn two times in a row in the space of one week and was obsessed with getting everyone I knew to read it afterwards. I would definitely count it as a favorite.
All of the Jack Reacher books by Lee Child are my favorites. They are the best books to devour on a rainy afternoon. Jack Reacher is a badass whose methods I would 100% condemn in reality but in book form? More please! Along the same lines: Nelson DeMille's John Corey books.
Outlander by Diana Gabaldon is problematic for various reasons, but I love it anyway. It's just a good book. Unburdened by the excessive detail and repetition of her later books, it's a really great romance and I would absolutely put it in my top ten.
I could go on, but I think I've made my point. A favorite book doesn't have to be serious. It doesn't have to be a classic, it doesn't have to impress. What it has to do is make you feel something - happy, sad, frustrated, anything. After all, isn't that how art is defined? I was always taught that art is anything that makes you feel something. Even if you hate it, if it provokes a feeling in you, it's art. And what are books but art?
I challenge all my readers to tell me your real favorite book. And if it is a classic, no shame in that. I mean, Pride and Prejudice really is a good book. And so are a lot of other really serious, important books. For instance, Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimimanda Ngozie Adichie is brilliant I truly hope to eventually see it gaining classic status. It made me cry and it sparked an interest in modern African history and I highly recommend it to all. The author also has a couple of amazing TED Talks out there that everyone should check out.
Just don't say a book is your favorite because you think your favorite has to be important. Say it's your favorite because it's the book you would want on a desert island or that you recommend to everyone you know.
I think we can all guess that the favorite book in episode 1 will be To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Let's not even try to pretend it won't be. And I could write a whole damned separate blog about the absurdity of this country choosing that book as a favorite set against the backdrop of the events that took place in Charlottesville, VA this past weekend and the subsequent "both sides are to blame" aftermath that I'm starting to hear, but I'll try to restrain myself.
Instead, the question I ask is this: why are we all so pretentious about our favorite book? You see it over and over again. When asked what book is their favorite, people will automatically say something like To Kill a Mockingbird or Pride and Prejudice or The Great Gatsby. And don't get me wrong, they're all great books. Well, ok, full disclosure? I have issues with To Kill a Mockingbird that only became stronger when Go Set A Watchman came out. And if I'm being truly, 100% honest? Outside of a few truly fantastic lines, I didn't care for The Great Gatsby either. It just... it left me cold for reasons I've never been able to quite put my finger on.
And if we do all have to claim classics or literary fiction for favorite books, why not Cold Sassy Tree by Olive Ann Burns, or The Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood? Things Fall Apart, by Chinua Achebe? Say You're One of Them by Uwem Akpan (warning - you will cry. A lot.)? There are so many fantastic books out there and it makes me so mad to see the same 4 or 5 mentioned all the time while the rest drift into obscurity or are dismissed as commercial trash.
That's not to say I don't love the classics or that I'm like a dedicated YA and chick lit reader. Great Expectations really is one of my favorites - really anything by Dickens is good. And I do love Jane Austen. I can get down with a heavy, serious, weighty book. The classics are classics for a reason, for the most part.
I just have a hard time believing that, in a country where so many people are addicted to celebrity culture and reality tv, where libraries are constantly struggling to get funding, and where something like a third of the population freely and unashamedly admits they haven't read a single book since finishing high school, the proclaimed favorite books are classics. Sure.
So I propose that we all start telling the truth. I'll start.
While I don't really have a favorite book, per se, I have read Jemima J by Jane Green more than 10 times. I love that book. It's simple and unrealistic and silly and I love the damned thing.
I've recommended Ernest Cline's Ready Player One more times than I can count and I've read it three times already myself. I think anyone who has even a slight memory of the 80s or who just likes that era of pop culture will adore it and that it's not to be missed.
I love anything Stephen King puts out (except for Gerald's Game and Rose Madder - those two were awful, sorry SK - I hated them and I'm not even going to link them here) even though he's technically a genre writer. I proudly proclaim here and now that he is the modern Charles Dickens.
My Legendary Girlfriend, by Mike Gayle is another chick lit (but with the twist that it's writtten by a guy!) fluff book that I'm not ashamed to call it a favorite. I read it in my first apartment while my life was still very much an unformed messy thing and I think that for that reason, it stuck with me.
I read Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn two times in a row in the space of one week and was obsessed with getting everyone I knew to read it afterwards. I would definitely count it as a favorite.
All of the Jack Reacher books by Lee Child are my favorites. They are the best books to devour on a rainy afternoon. Jack Reacher is a badass whose methods I would 100% condemn in reality but in book form? More please! Along the same lines: Nelson DeMille's John Corey books.
Outlander by Diana Gabaldon is problematic for various reasons, but I love it anyway. It's just a good book. Unburdened by the excessive detail and repetition of her later books, it's a really great romance and I would absolutely put it in my top ten.
I could go on, but I think I've made my point. A favorite book doesn't have to be serious. It doesn't have to be a classic, it doesn't have to impress. What it has to do is make you feel something - happy, sad, frustrated, anything. After all, isn't that how art is defined? I was always taught that art is anything that makes you feel something. Even if you hate it, if it provokes a feeling in you, it's art. And what are books but art?
I challenge all my readers to tell me your real favorite book. And if it is a classic, no shame in that. I mean, Pride and Prejudice really is a good book. And so are a lot of other really serious, important books. For instance, Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimimanda Ngozie Adichie is brilliant I truly hope to eventually see it gaining classic status. It made me cry and it sparked an interest in modern African history and I highly recommend it to all. The author also has a couple of amazing TED Talks out there that everyone should check out.
Just don't say a book is your favorite because you think your favorite has to be important. Say it's your favorite because it's the book you would want on a desert island or that you recommend to everyone you know.
Tuesday, August 8, 2017
Pretty Girls
I was so excited to win Pretty Girls through a Goodreads Giveaway. I've never read Karin Slaughter before and wasn't sure what to expect with this novel - only that it would be good, according to some of my favorite authors.
Pretty Girls is the story of sisters Claire, Lydia and Julia, who disappeared decades earlier at the age of 19. Claire and Lydia are estranged until Claire's husband is murdered one afternoon. The murder sets off a terrifying chain of events leading to a shocking conclusion.
This is one of those books where I can't say too much without giving away a lot of plot, so just trust me when I say that if you like thrillers, this is the book for you. It starts out with a slow burn while the setting and characters are carefully laid out and then BAM! You're off and running and won't be able to put it down.
Reading this, I can see why people love Karin Slaughter. She is amazing. The book is more than just your run of the mill standard thriller. It has heart. I'm not embarrassed to say that I cried a little towards the end. Slaughter has a gift for writing about family relationships in the wake of tragedy that feels real and believable.
Wednesday, August 2, 2017
Coloring
A few years ago, a friend gave me Enchanted Forest as a get well/sympathy/hang in there gift. She had read that coloring was good for stress and thought it would help me take my mind off things. She was right. Not only is coloring a great way to veg out somewhere other than in front of a tv, but it also turned out to be something my son and I could do together.
Since receiving that first "fancy coloring book," as they're called in my house, my son and I have collected a little pile of books and an obscene number of colored pencils. At least a few times a month, we'll sit down at the dining room table with our books and spend an hour or so coloring together. My son is a child who tends to keep to himself and in the past, I've struggled to get him to open up and talk to me. When he is wrapped up in coloring though, he lets go and tells me all about school, his friends, his gaming, etc.
I love that the whole adult coloring trend has really taken off. At times it's a bit much, but I do appreciate that the popularity of the movement means that there is something out there for practically every interest.
Do you have a favorite coloring book? I've been eyeing this one for a while as my next acquisition. Probably won't break it out during family coloring sessions though...
Tuesday, August 1, 2017
August TBR and July Wrap-Up
July has been kind of a crazy month. We are still on summer break here in Oklahoma City, so I've had both the baby (who is CRAWLING!) and my pre-teen to contend with. Add overnight company and projects around the house and then throw in an extra baby for 2 weeks (I'm babysitting for a friend of a friend and remembering why running my own in-home daycare will never be for me) and I've been a little short on reading time.
Still, I've managed to knock out a few books on my stack, so I'm pretty pleased with myself.
First up was an advance copy of I Never, by Laura Hopper. I requested (and received) a copy of this one from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. I Never is a good first effort, but falls flat. I was originally really excited to see another sex-positive YA book but ultimately, it just wasn't that great. Hopper has come up with a good story here, but somehow there's no magic in the text. It's all telling, no showing and there's almost a mechanical feel to it. Still, I think Hopper has promise and I'll most likely check out her next book, should she write another one.
Another book I finished this month was The 5th Wave by Rick Yancey. I was surprised by how much I liked this one. While I consider myself a fan of YA dystopian fiction, I do find some of it to be a bit tedious and far fetched, even for sci-fi/fantasy - too often the author comes up with a great premise but then gets bogged down by detail and lazy story-telling. Yancey doesn't seem to struggle with this at all and does a great job of dropping the reader right into the middle of the story without making one feel lost or confused. Not every author can pull that off. I have big plans to check out the rest of this series in the very near future.
The last book for July (that I finished, at least) was Love May Fail, by Matthew Quick. I've got a full review up of that one here.
Currently I am reading After You Left by Carol Mason and Pretty Girls by Karin Slaughter. Next up will be Longbourn by Jo Baker (finally- this one's been on my TBR list since it came out back in 2013) and then...I'm not sure. August is going to be another busy month as we gear up for back to school, so it may well be quiet around here for a few more weeks.
Another book I finished this month was The 5th Wave by Rick Yancey. I was surprised by how much I liked this one. While I consider myself a fan of YA dystopian fiction, I do find some of it to be a bit tedious and far fetched, even for sci-fi/fantasy - too often the author comes up with a great premise but then gets bogged down by detail and lazy story-telling. Yancey doesn't seem to struggle with this at all and does a great job of dropping the reader right into the middle of the story without making one feel lost or confused. Not every author can pull that off. I have big plans to check out the rest of this series in the very near future.
The last book for July (that I finished, at least) was Love May Fail, by Matthew Quick. I've got a full review up of that one here.
Currently I am reading After You Left by Carol Mason and Pretty Girls by Karin Slaughter. Next up will be Longbourn by Jo Baker (finally- this one's been on my TBR list since it came out back in 2013) and then...I'm not sure. August is going to be another busy month as we gear up for back to school, so it may well be quiet around here for a few more weeks.
Monday, July 24, 2017
Love May Fail
Unlike a lot of other reviewers of this book, I've never read The Silver Linings Playbook. I've seen the movie and thought it was ok (I do maintain that Jennifer Lawrence, who I adore, really won her Oscar not for her performance in this movie, but for her role in Winter's Bone - she was totally robbed that year), but still haven't gotten around to reading the book.
Maybe that's why I liked this book so much. Most other reviews I've read of it can't seem to help themselves from comparing it (mostly unfavorably) to The Silver Linings Playbook. I can see some of the issues others have pointed out - it's overly sentimental at times. The character of Portia Kane is a little annoying in a predictable Jersey-trash kind of way. And a few of the situations/occurrences had me rolling my eyes a little.
Still. This was a charming book. Once one suspends ones disbelief in all of the all-too-perfect random coincidences bringing people together and just decides to enjoy the ride, it turns out to be a very good book. And now that I have finally read for myself what kind of work Matthew Quick produces, I'm very ready to read more.
To summarize the book, so that this isn't a total waste of space review - Portia Kane has just caught her sleazy pornographer husband cheating on her. Instead of shooting him (her first impulse), she instead jumps on a plane and heads home to Jersey and her not-quite-all-there, hoarder mother. After meeting a wise old nun on the plane who wishes her luck with a quest she didn't know she was embarking on, she decides she needs to save her tragically depressed high school English teacher, Mr. Vernon.
The story is told from four different viewpoints - Portia, Mr. Vernon, Sister Maeve and Chuck Bass.
***Let me pause here for a moment and give my biggest criticism of this book. Seriously? A character named Chuck Bass? Ok, I get that this is literary fiction and that Q probably is above pop culture, guilty pleasure trash like Gossip Girl, but come. on. You can't name a character Chuck Bass anymore without it casting a massive shadow over the whole story. Chuck Bass is not a recovering heroin addict in the suburbs of New Jersey. He's Chuck Motherfucking Bass. A spoiled rotten New York hotelier's son with questionable morals and a deep love for Blair Waldorf. Everytime Chuck's whole name is mentioned in this book, it took me right out of the story. Anyway, back to the review...***
Q does a good job creating a distinct voice for each character - particularly for Sister Maeve and for Mr. Vernon.
As each character interacts and the web that binds them all is revealed, the story shows its big heart. I feel like if I say more, I'll reveal too much, so I will leave it at this - Love May Fail is a worthwhile read.
Maybe that's why I liked this book so much. Most other reviews I've read of it can't seem to help themselves from comparing it (mostly unfavorably) to The Silver Linings Playbook. I can see some of the issues others have pointed out - it's overly sentimental at times. The character of Portia Kane is a little annoying in a predictable Jersey-trash kind of way. And a few of the situations/occurrences had me rolling my eyes a little.
Still. This was a charming book. Once one suspends ones disbelief in all of the all-too-perfect random coincidences bringing people together and just decides to enjoy the ride, it turns out to be a very good book. And now that I have finally read for myself what kind of work Matthew Quick produces, I'm very ready to read more.
To summarize the book, so that this isn't a total waste of space review - Portia Kane has just caught her sleazy pornographer husband cheating on her. Instead of shooting him (her first impulse), she instead jumps on a plane and heads home to Jersey and her not-quite-all-there, hoarder mother. After meeting a wise old nun on the plane who wishes her luck with a quest she didn't know she was embarking on, she decides she needs to save her tragically depressed high school English teacher, Mr. Vernon.
The story is told from four different viewpoints - Portia, Mr. Vernon, Sister Maeve and Chuck Bass.
***Let me pause here for a moment and give my biggest criticism of this book. Seriously? A character named Chuck Bass? Ok, I get that this is literary fiction and that Q probably is above pop culture, guilty pleasure trash like Gossip Girl, but come. on. You can't name a character Chuck Bass anymore without it casting a massive shadow over the whole story. Chuck Bass is not a recovering heroin addict in the suburbs of New Jersey. He's Chuck Motherfucking Bass. A spoiled rotten New York hotelier's son with questionable morals and a deep love for Blair Waldorf. Everytime Chuck's whole name is mentioned in this book, it took me right out of the story. Anyway, back to the review...***
Q does a good job creating a distinct voice for each character - particularly for Sister Maeve and for Mr. Vernon.
As each character interacts and the web that binds them all is revealed, the story shows its big heart. I feel like if I say more, I'll reveal too much, so I will leave it at this - Love May Fail is a worthwhile read.
Thursday, July 6, 2017
Stillhouse Lake
I didn't originally intend to give Stillhouse Lake by Rachel Caine a standalone review. Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed the book all along, I just wasn't blown away. And then I got to the final third of the book and what had been an enjoyable thriller turned into a fast-paced, can't-put-it-down pile of awesome.
Rachel Caine has a great series on her hands here, if she can sustain the pace. I'm not sure how I haven't heard of her before; it appears she's written a number of books, mostly series, so that bodes well for this one.
Gina Royal thought she had the perfect life. A fulfilled stay-at-home mom to 2 young children, she had no idea that her loving husband Mel was secretly a serial killer using the converted family garage to play out his grotesque fantasies. And that's where the story starts.
After Mel Royal's trial and incarceration Gina is trying to put the pieces back together living under an an assumed name with her children, constantly on the run from those who want to see her pay for ever having been foolish enough to be married to evil. She settles down as Gwen Proctor in a small community by Stillhouse Lake and slowly starts to trust those around her again. And then all hell breaks loose.
I can't wait for the next book in this series! Anyone who loves a good thriller will like this one a lot.
Rachel Caine has a great series on her hands here, if she can sustain the pace. I'm not sure how I haven't heard of her before; it appears she's written a number of books, mostly series, so that bodes well for this one.
Gina Royal thought she had the perfect life. A fulfilled stay-at-home mom to 2 young children, she had no idea that her loving husband Mel was secretly a serial killer using the converted family garage to play out his grotesque fantasies. And that's where the story starts.
After Mel Royal's trial and incarceration Gina is trying to put the pieces back together living under an an assumed name with her children, constantly on the run from those who want to see her pay for ever having been foolish enough to be married to evil. She settles down as Gwen Proctor in a small community by Stillhouse Lake and slowly starts to trust those around her again. And then all hell breaks loose.
I can't wait for the next book in this series! Anyone who loves a good thriller will like this one a lot.
Monday, July 3, 2017
July TBR
Posting this a teensy bit late. I'd blame my newborn, but seeing as she's 6 months old and therefore no longer a newborn... I don't think that excuse flies anymore.
My goal this month is to finish up Stillhouse Lake by Rachel Caine. I don't know if I'll be posting a standalone review of this book. It's good, but in that generic thriller kind of way, you know? I am a little over halfway through with it though, so I could change my mind. I will say that it's a solid read. Excellent for summer afternoons by the pool, even if it is a little intense.
I'd also like to finish up Who Do You Love by Jennifer Weiner. I'm not in love with this one yet, but I'm also not very far into it yet.
I've got a couple of ARCs on my TBR list that I can't talk about yet that I will also be attempting to get to this month.
Now that summer is fully upon us and my oldest is begging to go to the pool just about every day, I expect I will be getting more and more reading time. Sadly I will also probably have less and less writing time, so look for updates to continue to be sporadic until I get this whole stay-at-home-mom-with-a-side-business-and-a-blog-that-needs-to-be-updated-thing-down.
My goal this month is to finish up Stillhouse Lake by Rachel Caine. I don't know if I'll be posting a standalone review of this book. It's good, but in that generic thriller kind of way, you know? I am a little over halfway through with it though, so I could change my mind. I will say that it's a solid read. Excellent for summer afternoons by the pool, even if it is a little intense.
I'd also like to finish up Who Do You Love by Jennifer Weiner. I'm not in love with this one yet, but I'm also not very far into it yet.
I've got a couple of ARCs on my TBR list that I can't talk about yet that I will also be attempting to get to this month.
Now that summer is fully upon us and my oldest is begging to go to the pool just about every day, I expect I will be getting more and more reading time. Sadly I will also probably have less and less writing time, so look for updates to continue to be sporadic until I get this whole stay-at-home-mom-with-a-side-business-and-a-blog-that-needs-to-be-updated-thing-down.
Monday, June 26, 2017
My Not So Perfect Life
I know I said I'd be posting a lot more going forward only a few weeks ago, but you know how it goes nonexistent readers... if only intentions counted as actions. If only thinking was as good as doing. If that were the case, this blog would be updated daily and my to-be-read stack wouldn't be quite so towering. (Side note: my house would also be immaculate, I'd speak several languages fluently and, well, you get the idea)
At any rate, I have managed to collect my thoughts on a book I read recently. My Not So Perfect Life by Sophie Kinsella is classic Kinsella at her best. It was with some trepidation that I grabbed this one off the shelf at my local library. I've been a fan of Kinsella for years and years (ever since the first Shopaholic novel) but her more recent books have been, well, meh. While the Shopaholic books seem to be getting worse with every installment, Kinsella's standalone novels are almost always good and this one was no exception.
My Not So Perfect life gives a great light and fluffy take on our society's current obsession with documenting our too too fabulous lives via social media and reminds us that things are not always what they seem.
Katie Brenner, our protagonist, is attempting to live out her dreams as Kate Brenner in the big city. She's ditched her accent, straightened her hair and landed a glam job. From the outside looking in via her perfectly curated Instagram account, she's got it made. Or does she?
Katie is a typical Kinsella heroine - smart and sassy with a few confidence and reliability issues. The book overall is a fast, fun read - it's basically the epitome of the perfect beach read. I highly, highly recommend this one. If you've written off Kinsella because of what has become of the Shopaholic mess, give her another chance with this one -you won't be disappointed!
At any rate, I have managed to collect my thoughts on a book I read recently. My Not So Perfect Life by Sophie Kinsella is classic Kinsella at her best. It was with some trepidation that I grabbed this one off the shelf at my local library. I've been a fan of Kinsella for years and years (ever since the first Shopaholic novel) but her more recent books have been, well, meh. While the Shopaholic books seem to be getting worse with every installment, Kinsella's standalone novels are almost always good and this one was no exception.
My Not So Perfect life gives a great light and fluffy take on our society's current obsession with documenting our too too fabulous lives via social media and reminds us that things are not always what they seem.
Katie Brenner, our protagonist, is attempting to live out her dreams as Kate Brenner in the big city. She's ditched her accent, straightened her hair and landed a glam job. From the outside looking in via her perfectly curated Instagram account, she's got it made. Or does she?
Katie is a typical Kinsella heroine - smart and sassy with a few confidence and reliability issues. The book overall is a fast, fun read - it's basically the epitome of the perfect beach read. I highly, highly recommend this one. If you've written off Kinsella because of what has become of the Shopaholic mess, give her another chance with this one -you won't be disappointed!
Monday, May 8, 2017
The Knockoff
| The Knockoff, by Lucy Sykes and Jo Piazza, caught my eye at the library the other day and I plowed through it very quickly. I both loved and hated this book. Overall - it was a cute, fun read. I would highly recommend it as a quick beach read. It's classic chick lit fluff - totally along the same lines as Helen Fielding, Marian Keyes or Jane Green (before she tried to get serious). Imogen Tate is a super-successful editor in chief of a glossy women's fashion magazine named, appropriately (if unimaginatively) enough, Glossy. She takes a 6 month medical leave to deal with breast cancer and returns to find her former assistant Eve has been rehired and promoted to... something kind of like her boss? But not? It's fuzzy. Anyway, Eve's directing all the online content for Glossy, which has, in 6 months, decided to stop printing and go totally online/be app-based. Also, Eve's basically a psychopath. The whole book is like a fashion mag remake of the classic movie All About Eve but it still feels original. Now, for the part I HATED. We're supposed to somehow believe that during the 6 months Imogen was out on leave, the world became super high tech. And poor, poor Imogen just can't keep up with any of it. Seriously? This woman is supposed to be like 5 years older than me and she can barely figure out how to send a text. How does that work? I mean, I know us Gen X'rs can't really compete with Millenials when it comes to staying up-to-the-second on the absolute latest tech trends (I say that as someone who just refuses to sign up for Snapchat. I just can't you guys. It's just too much) but for goodness sake, we were the original online generation. How is Imogen supposed to be believable at all?! I feel like she should have either been made to be 20 years older (or even 30 - seriously, this chick is less tech-literate than my mom and believe me, that's saying something) or maybe spent a few years out of the office instead of a few months (iPhones, Twitter and Instagram didn't just spring up overnight y'all) or even just had her be a little less helpless in the face of change. Her inability to figure out simple things that the rest of us have adapted to as they came out is infuriating and one wonders how someone so out of the loop in all things tech can possibly be believable as someone who can keep up with the ever changing world of fashion. It doesn't make any sense. Still, if you can get past the whole "Imogen is super stunted when it comes to those newfangled computin' machines" thing, it really is a great read. I might even buy this one to re-read when I need a fluffy little palate cleanser. |
Holy Crap, It's Been A While!
Hello non-existent readers! It's been a while!
Life has been happening over the last year and change since my last post. I never talked about this when I first started this blog but I went through some stuff in 2015 that made 2016 really hard. What it boils down to is this: loss is difficult. And even when you think you are moving forward and getting better, life has a way of knocking you back down and making you afraid to get back up. But I did it anyway. I got up, I mean.
In mid 2015, I lost a very, very wanted pregnancy. I went to my 18-week OB appointment and found out that my son was at that very moment, dying inside me. His heart rate had slowed way down for reasons we have never really found out and a few days later, after a flurry of frantic kicking, he went still. A few days later, after ultrasound confirmation that he had died, labor was induced and I went through the worst 48 hours of my life.
You see (and this may get a little political - you've been warned), I live in the backwards state of Oklahoma. In Oklahoma, for various reasons explained to me by my OB, you can't get a D&E. Nobody's trained on it and it's illegal in most cases anyway, which means no one wants to deal with the paperwork involved in proving the product of the D&E was dead anyway. A friend of mine had a D&E a few months earlier for similar reasons and recovered relatively quickly. I, on the other had, had an incredibly painful induction that stalled out and seemed to take forever. Somehow the birth of my 1/2 pound son was exponentially more physically painful than the birth of my 7 pound 11 ounce son 10 years earlier. The pain was strong enough that whatever drugs they put in my epidurals just couldn't keep up. And yes, that was epidurals, plural. In an effort to give me some relief, the anesthesiologist redid my epidural on day 2. I got nauseous 75% of the way through though, and they had to start again - total number of needles that went into my spine? 3.
So, after nearly 48 hours of hard labor, I finally delivered my deceased son. I got to hold him and see that he would have looked just like his father and big brother and then I handed him back to the incredibly compassionate nurses for "disposal." In hindsight, I wish we had arranged to have the body cremated so that I could have kept the ashes, but at the time I was so overwhelmed with my grief that I couldn't fathom taking on the arrangements and my husband was in the same place. I do have pictures of him that the hospital photographer was kind enough to take and provide, free of charge.
I was released about 12 hours after giving birth and went home to begin my recovery. When you deliver a baby at 18 weeks, you don't just bounce back. You go through all the postpartum stuff that moms of live babies go through. Sometimes your milk comes in (fortunately mine did not). You bleed for 6 weeks. Your hormones are all over the place. Your doctor recommends you go ahead and take what would have been your maternity leave to rest and grieve.
I spent 8 weeks at home, recovering and being angry about what I'd been put through. And this is the part where I get political for a minute. Pro-lifers? Fuck you. Seriously. Fuck you. Fuck you and your short sighted policies that lead to situations like mine. Fuck you for making procedures illegal. Procedures that have uses outside of your personal abortion boogeyman. What you need to realize is that when you make a procedure illegal, medical schools stop teaching it. And hospitals put out blanket bans of the procedure in order to streamline processes and cover their asses. And that leads to needless suffering. Also, a special note for all "Personhood Bill" supporters - fuck you too. Because if you really want to pass legislation that requires an investigation for all miscarriages like mine? It undermines the nurses and the doctors who are trying to put women like me back together. I can't tell you how many people reaffirmed for me at the hospital that this was NOT MY FAULT. That nothing I had done led to this tragedy. How will those same people be able to do that for future suffering women if they are simultaneously contacting the police to start an investigation? Women don't need to be punished for losing their babies. Believe me, the loss is enough. I'm a strong ass woman and it nearly broke me.
When I did return to work, it was to a workplace full of 20 and 30-something women, all of whom seemed to be pregnant or to have new babies at home. It was basically hell. And then there were other medical issues that led to my doctor advising me to wait a few months and then a few months more, and then just a little bit longer to try again for another baby. I started this blog partly as a distraction during that time.
We finally got a tentative all-clear in April, at which point I was pretty sure I was already pregnant again. Spoiler alert: I was right. And on January 2, 2017, my daughter was born.
The pregnancy wasn't easy and that brings me to why I've been silent all these months. Between work and a stressful high risk pregnancy, I just didn't have it in me to really even read books, let alone review them. Weird little factoid about me: I have zero attention span when pregnant. It's hard for me to get through a Buzzfeed article when I'm knocked up, let alone a 400 page novel.
But baby girl is 4 months old now and I am READY! Let's do this! I've been reading and I've been reaching out to my old contacts to get some new galleys to review, so stay tuned, oh nonexistent reader. I've got shit to say.
Life has been happening over the last year and change since my last post. I never talked about this when I first started this blog but I went through some stuff in 2015 that made 2016 really hard. What it boils down to is this: loss is difficult. And even when you think you are moving forward and getting better, life has a way of knocking you back down and making you afraid to get back up. But I did it anyway. I got up, I mean.
In mid 2015, I lost a very, very wanted pregnancy. I went to my 18-week OB appointment and found out that my son was at that very moment, dying inside me. His heart rate had slowed way down for reasons we have never really found out and a few days later, after a flurry of frantic kicking, he went still. A few days later, after ultrasound confirmation that he had died, labor was induced and I went through the worst 48 hours of my life.
You see (and this may get a little political - you've been warned), I live in the backwards state of Oklahoma. In Oklahoma, for various reasons explained to me by my OB, you can't get a D&E. Nobody's trained on it and it's illegal in most cases anyway, which means no one wants to deal with the paperwork involved in proving the product of the D&E was dead anyway. A friend of mine had a D&E a few months earlier for similar reasons and recovered relatively quickly. I, on the other had, had an incredibly painful induction that stalled out and seemed to take forever. Somehow the birth of my 1/2 pound son was exponentially more physically painful than the birth of my 7 pound 11 ounce son 10 years earlier. The pain was strong enough that whatever drugs they put in my epidurals just couldn't keep up. And yes, that was epidurals, plural. In an effort to give me some relief, the anesthesiologist redid my epidural on day 2. I got nauseous 75% of the way through though, and they had to start again - total number of needles that went into my spine? 3.
So, after nearly 48 hours of hard labor, I finally delivered my deceased son. I got to hold him and see that he would have looked just like his father and big brother and then I handed him back to the incredibly compassionate nurses for "disposal." In hindsight, I wish we had arranged to have the body cremated so that I could have kept the ashes, but at the time I was so overwhelmed with my grief that I couldn't fathom taking on the arrangements and my husband was in the same place. I do have pictures of him that the hospital photographer was kind enough to take and provide, free of charge.
I was released about 12 hours after giving birth and went home to begin my recovery. When you deliver a baby at 18 weeks, you don't just bounce back. You go through all the postpartum stuff that moms of live babies go through. Sometimes your milk comes in (fortunately mine did not). You bleed for 6 weeks. Your hormones are all over the place. Your doctor recommends you go ahead and take what would have been your maternity leave to rest and grieve.
I spent 8 weeks at home, recovering and being angry about what I'd been put through. And this is the part where I get political for a minute. Pro-lifers? Fuck you. Seriously. Fuck you. Fuck you and your short sighted policies that lead to situations like mine. Fuck you for making procedures illegal. Procedures that have uses outside of your personal abortion boogeyman. What you need to realize is that when you make a procedure illegal, medical schools stop teaching it. And hospitals put out blanket bans of the procedure in order to streamline processes and cover their asses. And that leads to needless suffering. Also, a special note for all "Personhood Bill" supporters - fuck you too. Because if you really want to pass legislation that requires an investigation for all miscarriages like mine? It undermines the nurses and the doctors who are trying to put women like me back together. I can't tell you how many people reaffirmed for me at the hospital that this was NOT MY FAULT. That nothing I had done led to this tragedy. How will those same people be able to do that for future suffering women if they are simultaneously contacting the police to start an investigation? Women don't need to be punished for losing their babies. Believe me, the loss is enough. I'm a strong ass woman and it nearly broke me.
When I did return to work, it was to a workplace full of 20 and 30-something women, all of whom seemed to be pregnant or to have new babies at home. It was basically hell. And then there were other medical issues that led to my doctor advising me to wait a few months and then a few months more, and then just a little bit longer to try again for another baby. I started this blog partly as a distraction during that time.
We finally got a tentative all-clear in April, at which point I was pretty sure I was already pregnant again. Spoiler alert: I was right. And on January 2, 2017, my daughter was born.
The pregnancy wasn't easy and that brings me to why I've been silent all these months. Between work and a stressful high risk pregnancy, I just didn't have it in me to really even read books, let alone review them. Weird little factoid about me: I have zero attention span when pregnant. It's hard for me to get through a Buzzfeed article when I'm knocked up, let alone a 400 page novel.
But baby girl is 4 months old now and I am READY! Let's do this! I've been reading and I've been reaching out to my old contacts to get some new galleys to review, so stay tuned, oh nonexistent reader. I've got shit to say.
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